So the last couple of weeks have been stressful, pain filled and bordering at times on spiritually barren. I’ve spent a LOT of time asking the question “why” and not getting any reply or sense of purpose.
And it sucks the big one to be honest.
I have clung to the Divine Feminine, although clinging is the one big cause of Dukkha according to Buddhism. I have literally driven myself to tears trying to reconcile my love of the Divine Feminine (Aset, NebetHet, Shakti, Mary) with my identity (Jewish, Norse and Catholic), my past (Wicca/Paganism) and my lifelong love of Buddhism. And what do I have to show for it? An absolutely FUCK ALL spiritual path. It cannot be done. Labels are humanity’s curse to itself. The need and drive to define everything in our lives is the reason why we are all so screwed up. Seriously.
So I am in the process of stripping away the conditioned bullshit, like sanding back a wall before you re paint it or wallpaper it. A blank, fresh canvas that can be whatever I want it to be. If I feel like wearing my cross one day I will. If I want to wear my Magen David, mala beads, Hammer/Valknut, crystals or no jewellery – then I will, and I will not care one iota. THAT is my goal. Honouring my spirituality without guilt or preconceptions. I will attend a church, a synagogue, a circle or just meditate on my own, with no fear of offending any Gods or people.
That is my Truth.