Vlog

I’ve started a channel on YouTube where I check in almost daily.

If you’re interested – That Buddhist Chick

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Emerging

So, I had a sabbatical from Farcebook and feel fantastic. I detoxed from all the negative crap I was being bombarded with on a daily basis, started a page for my Reiki business and started my masters in Reiki.

Last night I did a Manifesting and Working with Crystals workshop last night which was AMAZING!! It’s really given me a refresher with my crystals and urged me to do more energy work. I am going to look into Pranic Healing next.

Last night’s Beltane energy resonated with me as well. So there will be plenty of healing and growing to be done during November. New beginnings and new ways of doing things are also on the cards.

Exciting!!!

Using Pain & Frustration In My Spiritual Practise

​So I’m really no stranger to either in my life. I am probably the most accident prone person I know (and I suspect that most people know :P). Sunday night I ended up redoing a fracture to my wrist that I originally did about 8 years ago. I went to the doctor who sent me to the hospital who x-rayed it and subsequently set it in plaster and sent me home.

I was in a lot of pain (and still am to a lesser degree). ​ It’s my right hand and lucky for me I’m left handed. So that helps big time. But the first three days were a nightmare. I ended up having to have two days off work because I couldn’t type and 95% of my job is – you guessed it – typing. Then on Wednesday morning I got a removeable cast which is SOOOO much better. It’s lighter and less bulky. But typing still takes its toll, so I’m on reduced hours. And I still have a fair amount of pain (but good painkillers).

As a result, I have had more time to reflect on things and up my spiritual game. I’ve increased my meditation, thought about what I really want to achieve, and tried to implement it. The pain in my wrist has been quite intense at times and has interrupted me when meditating and sleeping. My automatic reaction is to utter a swear word (or several) in one of a handful of languages I know, and ruminate on "why me". Instead, I have used the pain as a reminder to come back to the present and to reaffirm that my intent is to focus on being the best version of myself and that I’m a constant work in progress.

I’d like to think it’s successful, but it’ a series of constant baby steps. I’ll be in a cast for the next four weeks, so I’m sure I’ll have some setbacks. But as long as I can remind myself that it’s ok to not be perfect and my feelings are normal, I should be able to make some progress. So that’s a start.

Tired

Last night was a bit of a comedy of errors so I didn’t get to go back into Shrine​. I also didn’t get a chance to go to bed earlier than 11.30pm and was up at 5am after broken sleep. So I’m utterly exhausted.

I’ve also had to forcibly go on a short hiatus from Farcebook because quite frankly, with all the bullshit people are posting without fact checking about the Las Vegas shootings, my bullshit meter is well and truly broken.

Today though I put on my Shabu made for me by my dear friend SetjatAset for the first time in a few years and I feel quite grounded and comforted knowing it’s on me. So that’s a really good start.

AMAZING

Had a very intense and eye opening experience last night. For the first time in years I went into Shrine. It was a full moon and the pull to Aset was undeniable. I offered Her some Fireball Whiskey and Sat there meditating and "talking" to Her.

The energy was almost too much to bear and I felt the effects for hours afterwards. I don’t think I got more than an hour’s sleep at a time. I had to get up and ground several times. But though I’m tired AF today, I don’t regret it happened. And I feel much more settled about things today. I think I’m headed in the right direction. As Jewish as I am, I don’t think the role of religious Jew is ever really going to be mine.

Are You Sure?…

So things are finding their balance, naturally, and I’m feeling very "together". It’s a cliche, but when you really do let go, things work out. And better than I thought they would. Mind you, it’s still early days. But for the first time in many many months, I am not preoccupied with some aspect of my life or path not being "right" or as I think it should. And that’s a really nice change.

Of course, once you make a conscious decision ​
‌​to do something obstacles tend to pop up in one form or another 😛 I’ve found this to be particularly true when dealing with anything remotely tied to one’s emotions. It’s like the Universe double checks just to be sure. And that’s certainly been the case these last couple of days. But I’ve found myself dealing with this a little bit better than before, so that’s a good sign.​

It’s very refreshing to have a smaller circle of friends with less drama and mind games though…

Almost End of The Week

So I’m getting close to the end of the week and it can’t get here soon enough. The flu is making its way through my team and I am worried I’m coming down with it again too 😦

I “caved in” and davened this morning. It was quite intense and moving, given I haven’t prayed like that in three weeks (since the initial reaction to my engagement). It was very comforting, but I have the feeling it will be a purely solitary activity from now on. I also emailed my Rabbi with an update on things. I was pretty honest about how I felt without being brutal or rude.

I think one of my greatest downfalls in the past has been to not speak my truth when I should have – instead I’ve aimed at keeping the peace or not offending people, when they’ve not had the same level of concern for me. So now, even if it makes others, or myself uncomfortable, I need to be truthful when asked. I haven’t heard back from my Rabbi and I don’t really know if I will. But at least I know I was honest when asked. And that’s all I can do these days.

Apart from that, I’m just working, paying bills and focusing on my family 🙂